Birds on a Progress Bar

Sometimes when I'm waiting for my inbox to appear or waiting for a Netflix movie to load, I wax poetic in my head about the progress bar. It comes up. You moan a little. You don't want to wait for it to move across. But since fast internet connections, usually it zooms right on by, getting to the end much faster than you expected. And I think about how fast life goes by.

Recently we had the pleasure of watching two wrens nest, lay eggs, and hatch babies in our garage. We were able to see them brand new, blind and silent, and then feathered and making their tiny chirps. In the morning the parents would squawk at me to let them out. If they had been outside all night, they would come flying in seconds after I opened the garage door.

The whole thing was amazing.

And then, it was over. I watched for them one morning and worried when the birds did not come into the garage and to the nest. So I got on the ladder (which we had placed near the nest so we could all spy on them) and they were gone. The entire process was a month tops.

Of course I cannot help but make the parallels between our life and the birds. You make your little nest, have your babies, feed them, and then they're gone.

Mine aren't gone yet. I'm somewhere in the middle of the progress bar. But it's going by super fast and I'd like to go back to dial-up and have it take just a little longer. I'm afraid. I'm afraid I'm going to forget things. I'm afraid I'm going to miss things because there's so much going on. I'm afraid I'm going to try to feed them one day and they will have left the nest!!

Okay, I'm getting a little dramatic.

But life is going fast. My life is a progress bar on a fiber optic internet connection. My birds are perched right there on it, looking super cute and changing on a daily basis. Sometimes they can get a little loud when they want their food. Sometimes they fight with each other. Often over the food. Then I clean them up and we start the whole process over again. I love birds.

Bestfeeding

Disclaimer #1: If you're a man, you probably won't be interested in this. But you should read it if your wife has breastfed. She is doing a good thing.

Disclaimer #2: I do not stand in judgement against anyone who chooses not to breastfeed. It is not for everyone.


Weaning is gradual. It tapers off for a long time. I am currently in the process and just wanted to write a little bit about breastfeeding before it is a part of my past.



These cloth diapers have served as my burp cloths for every baby. I love them. They are perfect. I don't think you can buy them anymore, so I protect them as a precious treasure. Juliet has not needed a burp cloth for many months, but I pulled these out and refolded them one by one, not forgetting the method I use to make them all stack up nice and straight. I do not think I will be able to get rid of these.


I have nursed all my babies from birth until one year old or longer. I cannot remember giving any of them formula. I did not even pump my milk very often. I am not saying this in a prideful way. It is the opposite. I realize how fortunate and blessed I have been that me or my babies have had no major difficulties that would prevent me from breastfeeding.

Someone once asked me why I breastfeed. The only thing I could think of to say was, "Why wouldn't you breastfeed?" There are too many reasons. Convenience, little to no cost, helps with baby's brain development, antibodies in mom's milk, burns calories for post partem weight loss, connection with your baby, perfect recipe of what baby needs... the list goes on and on.

There is much to be said. But mostly, it is just a miracle, the way God designed it.


When I prop myself up in the hospital bed and help my baby nurse for the first times, it causes my uterus to contract and also the baby's body lying right there on my abdomen...all of it works together in an amazing design.

When you breastfeed, the hormone released makes you feel sleepy. I think this is so you take your time, letting the baby linger and get as much as they need.

When you are breastfeeding a new baby, you find yourself doing just that many times throughout your day. I think this provides the rest required while your body is recovering from childbirth.


When you breastfeed, you need your baby just as much as they need you. As a friend once put it, you have some information you need to download. And your baby is a hungry little hard drive. This need to work together creates a bond with your baby only made between a mother and her child.

When you breastfeed, you are providing a safe and secure place for your baby. It is a sacrifice of your time and energy to nurse. It does come with a certain amount of pain and difficulty. But your baby could never doubt your attention, your devotion, or their place in your heart while at your breast. You are setting yourself aside. You have to miss things sometimes. It is a great practice in unselfishness, which prepares you for parenthood in general.



It has been extremely rewarding and I will always have fond memories. The noises they make, the way they reach up and touch your face, the drunken sleepy face of a newbie with milk in the corner of their mouth...it is a blessing to say the least.

I am grateful to have had the experience. I tried to do the math...how many hours of my life I've spent breastfeeding. I couldn't do it. I have lost too many brain cells in the breastmilk. But it's a lot. Thousands. Enough ounces to fill five gallon buckets. It's pretty cool.

The Bobbin

Tonight I finally got a chance to listen (with some concentration) to a new album by Eric Peters, a singer/songwriter Jimmy and I befriended when we were first married. He and his wife Danielle came to Tallahassee and played a show and hung out for the first time with us way back in the year 2000.

I was able to make some artwork for one of his former albums. It was a privilege. It had birds. I love birds. His new album is really great (sorry for the boring adjective...it deserves something more cerebral than that but it is after 9 p.m.) and he did his own artwork and his Danielle photographed him for the liner. It is called Birds of Relocation and has a painting with birds for the album cover. I felt proud somehow even though they are much cooler, more creative, and I think a couple years older than me.

In the spring of 2010 Jimmy brought Eric back for another Tallahassee concert. Then, he came back in the fall and on that visit asked me to make some artwork for his wife for a Christmas present. I of course said yes because I need a kick in the pants to do anything artistic. Unfortunately I am not in a place in life where I make it for the sake of making it. I use up all my creativity doing something called home school. But I do lie in bed on a regular basis and dream about carving out a corner of my bedroom into a tiny studio.


I never blogged about this art because it was the holidays and I had a baby (Juliet) just a couple weeks later and once a certain amount of time passes I just don't blog about things. But tonight my memory was jogged and I wanted to write about this.



I really only had one thing to go off of, a quote from a Traveling Onion poem that Eric sent me, "For the sake of other, disappear." But I knew Danielle likes to sew so I was also inspired by that. The scissors, well, I love scissors. I drew 86 pairs of them for my BFA grad show. Scissors can be open. They can get rid of stuff you don't want. They are a tool. They change the shape of things. They cut paper, the best stuff ever. They are utilitarian yet they create.


The Peters have two small children, so they are a family of four. Instead of four spools of thread, I made one a bobbin to represent the mother.

On a sewing machine, the bobbin holds the thread that you don't see. It is on the underside of your fabric. If your tension is set right, you don't see it on the top side. If not, it can peek out and make an ugly stitch. If you run out of bobbin thread, your top stitch will not hold together. It is not meant to be seen though, it disappears if you will.

We mothers are kind of like the bobbin. We do lots of unseen work to make our family look good. We disappear most of the time. We are behind the camera, in the kitchen away from the party, and chauffeuring the dreams of our kids around town. Yet without a mother, the fabric of the family isn't holding together so well.


This was sort of an encouragement to persevere through runny noses, dirty diapers, and soiled laundry. We are the bobbin. We hold it together. Unseen, but essential and important. For the sake of others, disappear. Be encouraged. Put yourself out there for your family and rejoice in the role God has given you...to help it all hold together. (With God's unending grace lavished over you every day holding you together of course!)

Be strong. Be the bobbin. Use your scissors if necessary.

Books I Love

Today I was mending a book that I have had since Jackson was a baby. Recommended by my sister, it has served me well and has been well loved by all my babies. I love this book. It is called First Hundred Words by Heather Amery and Stephen Cartwright. I love it because it is useful, helpful, and the scenes encapsulate my life. The expressions on their faces capture what they are feeling and these mundane moments (and the family that experiences them together) are celebrated. I really love it.



Look at the baby and mommy in the pool with a bare bottom. Who doesn't want to remember that forever when it's happening to you?


Here is my baby with the living room scene. Dad is playing, Mom is reading a book and all is right in the house.


Do you see what I mean about capturing the moment and expression?


This happens all the time at my house. Kitchen chaos. Only my baby would probably be playing with sharpies under the table instead of spoons.


I love bath time. I love this illustration. May I never forget the many times I've experienced this in our bathroom. Everyone is happier when they're clean.


Nothing needs to be said. (Except I forgot to mention that this little yellow duck hides on every page. It is so fun for a child to find. It never gets old.)


The Dad's face on this is priceless. It encapsulates how most dad's feel when given a baby and a bottle. "What's your problem?" And... "You can't do this yourself?"

I had so much fun photographing this book I decided to make a little visual list of some of our other staples around here. These are some of the first books I start with as early as possible. I could not parent without these books. They have been regulars with every single child.


This one especially with the boys. It has just the right amount of words on each page. An awesome introduction to different kinds of trucks.


This is Eric Carle's The Very Busy Spider in board book form. I can teach animals, their sounds, the sign language for them, and repetition. I enjoy trying to say, "Want to roll in the mud?" how a pig might say it. Hey, it's my theatrical outlet.


And speaking of Eric Carle, he still did the artwork, but the words are by Bill Martin Jr. I actually have an autographed copy (by Martin) but I have no idea where it came from. Brown Bear Brown Bear What Do You See? is a whole blog in and of itself, but you get colors, animal names, signs, rhythm...it is wonderful.


A classic. Hard for Juliet to sit still for this one for some reason, but I read it with commitment anyway. I love books that rhyme. "Good night nobody, good night mush."


A must have for body parts, this one recently lost the back two pages. I'm going to fix it. It's been through all five kids.


Dr. Suess is also another post, but these two are my favorite for toddlers. They start to finish your sentences once you read them enough and it makes you so proud!


Besides, are there any illustrations better than Mr. Brown? Look at him! He is awesome!


I can't read the board book version of this because they shorten it. They leave out cute pages like Mr. Brown making a sound like a goldfish kiss.



Also love The Eye Book. Written by Dr. Suess (as Theo LeSieg) but not illustrated by. All the kids love pink underpants.


After I finished photographing the books I stacked them up next to this floor chair and later caught Juliet sitting there reading them.


I did not set this up! She was just doing it. I did turn one of the book right side up, but the pure joy from reading is hers alone.


Then later, I caught her sitting at the table with someones school work. They learn by example! Read to your kids!!

Progress, not perfection

I hate that there has been a lack of posting on the J train. Not because I am a slave to the blog, but because a lot has been going on. And the amount of blogging has not met my personally imposed standards. But I have been trying to temper the perfectionist in myself and celebrate any forward progress that goes on around here.

My baby has emerged into a full blown toddler, complete with getting super dirty, finding all inappropriate objects and eating them, climbing on top of everything, and looking extremely cute (most of the time in her diaper) while doing all of the above. It is sad and beautiful all at the same time.

We had the 100th day of home school a couple of weeks ago, and it was complete with counting 100 things, eating 100 things, writing about 100, and the culmination (and probably the only thing they will remember) of burning 100 matches. If you would like to keep the attention of your home school student, just burn something.



The photographer and perfectionist in me really wants to apologize for these flashy, non artsy, quick snap shots but I just didn't have time for much else. We're going for progress here, not perfection. (And the above photo isn't even turned correctly! It says, "I wish I had 100 iPads, but I'm glad I don't have 100 poop.")

(I just turned around to see what Juliet was doing. She is standing on top of a chair playing with a knife.)

This past week was Spring Break and my older girls went with my parents to their house for a few days so I could work with the boys on their bedroom. We have not done anything in there since we moved in last summer and I have been wanting to transform it into something...anything, besides what it was, which was plain and boring and ugly.


So I ignored all housework and laundry for about 48 hours and we painted and shopped and hung posters and emerged much better than we started. There is still more to be done but there has been progress.



The kids and I left to go get the girls and spend a few days with my parents and while we were gone one more poster came in the mail and Jimmy hung it up, along with the mirrors. More progress. Not perfection, but progress.


(Speaking of progress, Juliet is now sitting on the kitchen table flipping through a magazine.)


If you can't tell, the boys decided on a Beatles theme to their room. The walls are gray, but while I was painting them they looked blue and even purple at times but they turned out fine. Sometimes you stick with your color because you believe in it. Sometimes you stick with it because you can't imagine having to take it back and start over. It was a little of both. Jackson bought a disco light with his own money. The black squares are chalkboard paint.


(Juliet has now gotten off the table, down onto the chair, off the chair, pushed the chair in and crawled into the living room. That's actually pretty close to perfection.)

Since returning from my parents and stopping on the boys room for now, I have been working hard to put everything away and clean a little and slay the laundry monster so I can have a fresh start to the remainder of the home school year. I always want to quit after Spring Break but we will press through it and look forward to summer break. I'm going to make all kinds of forward progress and tell perfection it can take a flying leap into a mound of laundry or a stack of school work.

A Date Night Miracle

We had date night last night. This is a huge event. We never go out on dates unless we have grandparents in town who can babysit.

So what did we do??? What do you do on such an occasion?

It is intimidating. But not really. Because we don't really care what we do. As long as it is with each other and without children.

We went to Carrabba's. Ate with a gift card AND a coupon. Not afraid to appear cheap. I overloaded on sweet tea. (The rest of the night I had to pee every half hour.)

Then we went to the gas station and cleaned Jimmy's car and vacuumed it. Because that's exactly what you want to do on date night when you're full of Carrabba's up to the top of your esophagus. You want to bend over and vacuum the floor of a car. And those of you who have ridden in Jimmy's car before know it's...well...MESSY. We pull up and get out and he says, "Don't throw away anything that looks important." Which cracked me up because all I had on my side was a stack of papers in the floor covered with dirt and leaves and such.

We went to this fancy place with rows of parking spaces and high power vacuums that are FREE. We each grabbed one and went at it from both sides. About 25% into it, Jimmy announced that he was going to win. I had no idea we were racing. The vacuuming was full of laughing and trash talking and fun. We ended up tying. It was a date night miracle.

After the vacuuming Jimmy asked me if I wanted to get the car washed. I said, "Do we have to do it ourselves?" and he said, "Maybe."

But no, we (and this is ONLY on a date night, folks) sprang for the $8 car wash and held hands while we were guided by machine through a foamy paradise. Before we went in a young man cleaned our windows and sang "More than a Feeling" (Boston) as we entered into the tunnel. "I see my Maryann walking away..." It was, yes, a date night miracle.

Where can the date night go from here? Well, we weren't done yet. Target was next. It was not extremely exciting but when you can take your time and have no kids, it's super. Target was complete with a four year old-ish boy at the checkout (where we paid with a gift card) throwing a major tantrum ("I want it! I want it!") really loudly and it was like a message from the Lord reminding us to be grateful our children were not with us. And we were. Truly. Really.

Then we went to Old Navy. Bought some stuff. Yes, with a gift card. I don't know how we do it. It was a date night miracle.

Then you know what I did? I went to Publix and didn't push a cart. And even though I needed groceries, I didn't buy them. I bought some cookies instead and ate them immediately. No one else ate them. Just me. And when I got home I hid the box so no one knows where they are.

It was a date night miracle.

A Pizza Hut

Does anyone else remember that camp song...

"A Pizza Hut, a Pizza Hut
Long John Silver's
and a Pizza Hut...
McDonalds!
McDonalds!..."

Here's what's been going on the past few weeks. You can sing it to the Pizza Hut tune...



A Cowboy Day
A Cowboy Day
Homeschool Art Class
and a Cowboy Day



A Cowboy Day
A Cowboy Day
Homeschool Art Class
and a Cowboy Day




Made Couch Forts!
Made Couch Forts!
Homeschool Art Class
and a Cowboy Day




Made Couch Forts!
Made Couch Forts!
Homeschool Art Class
and a Cowboy Day!