11/12/2006

explode-o-poop

I have a wonderful seven month old baby who poops a lot. Luckily, I would call his poop "organic" since it is pretty much breastmilk, fruits and vegetables. Not too stinky and still holding the innocence of a human being not yet filled with sugar and potato chips.

This weekend Jackson spent his Wal-Mart gift card (a birthday present) on a cap gun (two, actually, with a plastic belt and holsters, or "hoisters" as he likes to call them) and 250 paper caps. He has had me clarify that they make "real fire" and nothing fake. He has had a great time firing them off, thanks to my selfless effort of threading them through, which is no walk in the park (although I'm getting pretty good at it now). Anyway, unfortunately I keep scolding him for pulling the trigger while people are sleeping and I especially keep reminding him not to leave the used roll of fired off cap paper on the ground where his brother might get it and put it into his mouth. If you know Jackson, you know this is a pointless task because as he fires off the last few blasts he is NOT thinking about the trash can, he is asking me to load the next one on.

This morning, as I am changing a glorious peas and carrots diaper, I notice something red mixed in with those "organic" vegetables. Since it is one of the more exciting parts of my job, I decide to investigate. I discover, to my horror, that my precious baby has ingested, digested, and excreted four or five (approximately) paper caps. (In less than 24 hours I might add.) Jackson was nearby. I call him over, thinking, "now he will see the danger! now he will never leave them on the floor!" and I ask,

"do you see this?"
"what is that?"
"they're your CAPS!"
"in Cash's diaper?"
"YES! You cannot leave these on the floor!"

And he replies, quite matter of fact,

"at least he didn't put them in his mouth!"