Stop walking

Yesterday we got back into the swing of things with home school and I started back to work. It has gone fine. But it is very busy. Trying to stay on top of everything has brought me into a new place. A place where I don't take a nap. It is a sad place. But if you're so busy and have so much to do that you can't take a nap, then you don't really notice the lack of nap. Except when you start to feel really tired. 

There is a constant juggling of six kids needs. I am asked questions by more than one child at a time on a regular basis. I am managing quite a lot at once. I want to sit down and snuggle to read with one child but the baby needs to eat. I'd like to drop everything and make cupcakes, and suffer mommy guilt when I have to say no, because making cupcakes would probably send me over the edge. 

Tonight Juliet was talking to me and I was listening, but was continuing to clean up at the same time. She said, "Mom, stop walking!" and I must be honest, it broke my heart a little. She sees me in motion more than standing still. 

I love my life. I really think it's going pretty well actually. But having a large family is not for the faint of heart. There is a lot that is out of my control. There are a lot of details I've had to learn to let go of.  Things fall through the cracks sometimes. But we're all here. We're healthy and we're together. It was just me and Jimmy. And all of a sudden we are eight people. It is exciting, humbling, and kind of a slap in the face all at once. 

I am, by the grace of God, finding joy. These kids are hilarious. More fun than I've ever had. And I get to do it with my best friend. Blessings undeserved. 

I found this photo on my phone tonight. This is the kind of stuff my life is made of. Pure fun. 

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