4/08/2011

Now Hiring

Personal Assistant

Seeking intelligent, effective, and agreeable individual to help with personal needs, household needs, and business needs. Hard working individuals not afraid to get dirty or raise their voice need only apply. Not looking for people who are above performing any simple task such as bottom wiping, nose blowing, or toilet scouring.

Other skills, duties, and traits I am seeking in applicants:

-able to do laundry
-in shape, able to lift 40+ pounds
-washing dishes
-grading papers
-singing songs, knows at least 50 children's tunes
-library skills/book reading
-excellent communication skills
-chauffeur
-data entry/sorter
-organized
-tickle monster
-standard phone etiquette
-extremely patient
-personal chef
-tech support
-photography assistant
-changing diapers
-party planner
-good listener
-able to tune out crying
-occasional wet nurse
-100% available all hours, all days, with ability to travel on short notice

This is an excellent full time, long term position and a great opportunity for someone who thinks they want to have a bunch of children.

Salary: you can keep whatever you sweep up in the dust pan or find in the washing machine.

4 comments:

Aunt Soosin said...

ME ME ME ME ME!!!! Hire ME!!! I can only come if I can bring my husband and 3 children with me. oh, and 2 dogs. Think we can all live together in one house?? I know at least 50 children's songs, but the wet nurse thing might rule me out. Call me for an interview...I have a great resume!

Kenley Stringer, Realtor®, Broker/Associate, CRS said...

Darnit! I met all of the job qualifications until you got to the wet nurse part. Oh well, I'll pass along the word if I know of anyone!

Jenn said...

I currently meet all of those requirements except for one...no, not the wet nurse comment-good there....I believe it had to do with patience:)!
Jenn

Darcy said...

Darn...I don't qualify...