It's funny what you remember from movies. I often think about the opening scene from The Wedding Planner, when we watch Jennifer Lopez run a wedding like a boss and then go home to her apartment. This is the part that runs through my mind. How she comes in to her beautifully designed apartment, hangs her keys up, puts away her things, fixes herself some dinner and a glass of wine, and sits down in front of the tv to watch Antiques Roadshow while she eats.
Then, after dinner, she spends her evening deep cleaning her living room and folding her shirts with one of those plastic shirt forms they only use at The Gap. It's off to bed then, with her hair in a perfect ponytail and soft puffy blankets tucking her in perfectly.
Now, all this was to show, of course, at the beginning of the movie, how controlled her life was and also how alone she was. After this point her life is turned upside down by Mathew McConaughey. Alright, alright, alright.
The reason I think that this scene goes through my mind so often is that it is absolutely, in every possible way, totally and completely opposite of my life. And I have to admit, while I love my life, my husband, my kids, everything about my chaos, I am drooling a little on the inside whenever I picture this scene. A scene where you eat what you want when you want and you're not interrupted. A reality where you have enough time to dust your living room. A life that involves folding your clothes on a plastic shirt form, organized closets, and perfectly made beds.
Because there is none of that in my life. Zero. Zip. Zilch. Nada. My reality is disorganized closets, clean laundry that sits in baskets for days (let's be honest, sometimes weeks), dust EVERYWHERE, and meals prepared on a stove that should be scrubbed with food that came from a refrigerator that should be scrubbed.
But guess what I have in my home that the wedding planner didn't? People. A family. And families make a mess. But let's be clear. It's a good mess. A chaos forged in love and mistakes. This building of a family is exactly what it should be, exactly what a person needs in order to learn about love, grace, and forgiveness. No shirt folding forms necessary.
So while I do usually long for solitude at least once a day, if I really did have it, I know I'd be hoping that it was temporary- that it was only the opening scene in a movie eventually to be filled with the bedlam that is marriage and babies. I'm so glad to be in the middle of the plot line. I'm surprised every day by the twists and turns that make up the arc of our story. I'm aboard the J train and I'm not getting off. Not quite a wedding planner, but planning everything that happens after the wedding. I think I need to add super glue to my shopping list...