It literally sends pain through my core when I acknowledge the fact that summer is halfway over. But here are some of my favorite things about summer so far...
1. Popsicles. When the warm weather comes Jimmy and I stock the freezer with the cheap plastic sleeve popsicles that come in a red mesh bag. They are not food, but I admit I use them as an appetite suppressant. "Mom, can I have a snack?" "How about a popsicle?"
2. Aunt Susan. My sister came to stay with us for two weeks while the boys and Jimmy were on their 3GT adventure. She was there for the girls when I had to work. We all had fun making lemonade, doing crafts, swimming, eating chick food, watching Tinkerbell movies, she learned some piano duets with Libby...the list goes on. Mostly it was fun to have someone here to appreciate my amazing children with me and laugh at the cute and funny things they do and say.
3. 3GT. Susan and I enjoyed living here at home just waiting for what would happen "...on the next episode of 3GT..." Their adventures did not disappoint. They broke down, they're crammed in a minivan going to the Grand Canyon, the RV is fixed, Jimmy is afraid for his life as they climb up the Rocky Mountains... plus the cute photos and texts I would get from the kids. And then all of a sudden they're coming home early!
4. My pregnancy. Even though it has been difficult, I continually picture Joan Cusak from Runaway Bride telling Julia Roberts "your veil is not attacking you!" only she is saying to me "your pregnancy is not attacking you!" I know from experience that it is fleeting. I said to Jimmy this week that no matter how many times you do it, the fact that in 12 weeks what is inside of me will be lying in a crib is mystifying. It is a miracle, a sacred promise I do not take for granted. I love feeling a baby move inside of me.
5. Grandparents. This past week I have had a chance for an in town vacation with Jimmy because my parents had Jackson with them and Jimmy's parents kept my other four. Grandparent camp is an amazing gift. I have cleaned out closets and rearranged rooms and washed baby stuff and taken naps when I wanted and did not cook any family meals. It has been wonderful.
6. The color of summer. Lastly, I have figured out what the color of summer is. The color of summer is this. It is the color you see after you've been swimming with blue tinted goggles on. Per the rules of color theory, when you take off blue goggles, for the first few seconds everything around you has a beautiful golden orange tint. And when what is around you are playful children and beautiful puffy cloud skies and sweeping oak trees...it makes the color of summer that much more wonderful.
Here's to the second half of summer.
7/05/2014
What it's like to be pregnant...for the sixth time...
When you're pregnant for the first time, your life is full of excitement and new experience. You hate the nausea. But you think it's sort of funny that you're eating mac and cheese at midnight. You buy lots of maternity clothes. You wait and wait and wait for the day you can justify wearing them. You take a nap whenever you want. You exercise. You barely gain any weight. You pour over books and soak up all the knowledge you can about this thing called pregnancy. You smile. A lot.
This is what it's like to be pregnant for the sixth time...
When you drop something, you stare at it for a while, trying to decide if it's worth picking up or not. Unless it is worth more than about $10, you leave it there. (When you drop the soap in the shower, you asses how clean you are and debate stopping your shower right then, instead of picking it up to finish cleaning yourself.)
When you do what are supposed to be effortless kegel exercises, you feel like a 300 pound man with a large gut trying to do a sit-up.
You are 27 weeks. You are having to dig into the largest maternity clothes you have. You nearly cry when you remember that during your first pregnancy, no one even noticed you were pregnant until you hit about 30 weeks.
You struggle with extreme feelings of hatred toward all thin people and especially anyone wearing a belt.
When you're going out and you want to make yourself look a little nicer, you pause to reflect...because it is literally like putting lipstick on a pig.
You have a hard time getting your leg up to put on your pants. This used to happen to you in the last two weeks of your pregnancy. Now it begins in the second trimester.
You pull your knees up to your chest every morning before you get out of bed. You want to make sure it is still physically possible so that when it comes time to deliver you won't pull every muscle in both legs.
More on bending over...You borrow your parents grabber. The one they needed years ago when someone had back surgery. You use it to clean up around the house. To pick up the clutter, trash, toys...You think that all you need is a yellow jumpsuit and you will be like a prisoner picking up trash on the side of the road. After all, you feel like a prisoner in your own body.
Your relationship with food is nothing if not strained. You feel huge, but you're so hungry! You want to eat anything and everything, but the scale, heartburn, and reflux are mocking you at every turn.
You deal with the reactions when you tell people you're pregnant with your sixth child. Sometimes they lean forward because they need you to repeat it. They want to make sure they heard you correctly. Sometimes you even have to hold up six fingers to make them understand. When it gets through, you smile. Because even though it's sort of embarasing, you are proud and wear it like a badge of honor.
You pee. All the time. You have to go really bad. All the time. But when you sit down, it comes out like water from a crimped hose. A strained trickle.
But most of all, you spend most all of your reflective time in awe and wonder of the fact that God has chosen to bless you yet again with the feeling of a baby in your womb. That He is using your feeble body to bring another perfect, supernaturally formed life into this world. You wonder if He really is this good. Can it be that you will nurse another baby on your breast? The humble realization of how small you are hits you between the eyes every time your baby kicks you in your continually full bladder.
When it's your sixth time, you are so over the leg cramps, cankles, and weight gain. But you are also much more acutely aware of how much of a privilege it is to be what you are for these seemingly long (but so short) weeks.
You are pregnant.
This is what it's like to be pregnant for the sixth time...
When you drop something, you stare at it for a while, trying to decide if it's worth picking up or not. Unless it is worth more than about $10, you leave it there. (When you drop the soap in the shower, you asses how clean you are and debate stopping your shower right then, instead of picking it up to finish cleaning yourself.)
When you do what are supposed to be effortless kegel exercises, you feel like a 300 pound man with a large gut trying to do a sit-up.
You are 27 weeks. You are having to dig into the largest maternity clothes you have. You nearly cry when you remember that during your first pregnancy, no one even noticed you were pregnant until you hit about 30 weeks.
You struggle with extreme feelings of hatred toward all thin people and especially anyone wearing a belt.
When you're going out and you want to make yourself look a little nicer, you pause to reflect...because it is literally like putting lipstick on a pig.
You have a hard time getting your leg up to put on your pants. This used to happen to you in the last two weeks of your pregnancy. Now it begins in the second trimester.
You pull your knees up to your chest every morning before you get out of bed. You want to make sure it is still physically possible so that when it comes time to deliver you won't pull every muscle in both legs.
More on bending over...You borrow your parents grabber. The one they needed years ago when someone had back surgery. You use it to clean up around the house. To pick up the clutter, trash, toys...You think that all you need is a yellow jumpsuit and you will be like a prisoner picking up trash on the side of the road. After all, you feel like a prisoner in your own body.
Your relationship with food is nothing if not strained. You feel huge, but you're so hungry! You want to eat anything and everything, but the scale, heartburn, and reflux are mocking you at every turn.
You deal with the reactions when you tell people you're pregnant with your sixth child. Sometimes they lean forward because they need you to repeat it. They want to make sure they heard you correctly. Sometimes you even have to hold up six fingers to make them understand. When it gets through, you smile. Because even though it's sort of embarasing, you are proud and wear it like a badge of honor.
You pee. All the time. You have to go really bad. All the time. But when you sit down, it comes out like water from a crimped hose. A strained trickle.
But most of all, you spend most all of your reflective time in awe and wonder of the fact that God has chosen to bless you yet again with the feeling of a baby in your womb. That He is using your feeble body to bring another perfect, supernaturally formed life into this world. You wonder if He really is this good. Can it be that you will nurse another baby on your breast? The humble realization of how small you are hits you between the eyes every time your baby kicks you in your continually full bladder.
When it's your sixth time, you are so over the leg cramps, cankles, and weight gain. But you are also much more acutely aware of how much of a privilege it is to be what you are for these seemingly long (but so short) weeks.
You are pregnant.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)