Words

The night I got to hang out with Jimmy for the first time we talked until 3 am. The night couldn't last long enough. There was so much to be said. I think we both sensed we had a lifetime of words for each other. That we would never tire of talking to each other. 

When we were newly married and away from each other all day we would talk on the phone if at all possible. He on the phone in his classroom, me either at home or in the office at the BCM on campus at FSU- no cell phones for us then. 

When Jackson was born I had someone to talk to all day and I did, and being the type of person he is, he loved it. Jackson and I have been talking every day for over 14 years. 

But now, in 2016, I find myself on this particular night all out of words to speak. Sometimes you just use them all up. And for me, this seems to happen more and more often the more kids I have and the bigger those kids get. I'm reading everything from WW2 history to Dr. Suess, I'm trying to communicate with a babbling toddler, I'm answering math questions, I'm explaining how someone becomes president, I'm diffusing the latest "he said, she said" in the sibling world. I'm not going to lie, it's exhausting. And sometimes I'm just plain out of words. 

(And now I am dealing with the irony of the fact that I just wrote a couple hundred words about the fact that I don't have any words left. It is maybe a way to cope.)

Yet His mercies are new every morning and somehow I wake up with a new bank full of words and I am happy to greet my children with a Good Morning! and Did you sleep well? By God's grace. And I am so greatful. 

Kids, I'm sorry when I run out of words. But there are a lot of you and only one of me and I pray for God's strength and patience and as you know, a mother can communicate quite a bit without saying a word. So, there's that.

I love my kids. They're worth the word depletion, no doubt. And hugging. Hugging doesn't need words. I'm going to try more of that. Less words. More hugging. 

And now I'm really out of wor